whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
