SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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