so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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