you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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