The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
