drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
