i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
