you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
