I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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