try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
