She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
