Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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