did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
