I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
