I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
