508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
