He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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