Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
