explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
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