You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
