the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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