You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
