my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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