I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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