Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
