shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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