i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
