I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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