so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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