is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
