you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
