so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
