i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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