Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
