Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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