also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
