we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Soap is not a condiment
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
