then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
