i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
