It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
