I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
