Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
