is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
