First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's always time for handjobs
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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