Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
