I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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