Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
