Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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