Nicole vs. Life
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
