I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
